These past few days my news feeds have been flooded with the #WhyIDidntReport and with each new Facebook post and Tweet the stories have grown more and more heartbreaking while the reasons stayed relatively the same: “I didn’t want people to think less of me,” “No one took me seriously,” “I didn’t want to ruin his future.”

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I did not want to ruin his future. HIS future. They almost all circled back to his future because, as a society, that is what is more important - the future of men. The emotional well being and respect for sexual assault victims, more specifically women, come second to men and their successful future. Yet as I kept reading through each new story and each new reason, I realized I am no different from every woman out there that swallowed their pain and what was left of their pride so as to maintain the reputation of the very person that showed them how little they care about them.

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People continue to sit and judge the women sharing their stories of assault and explaining why they (selflessly) chose not to report. These same people that continue to chastise women for not coming forward are unknowingly chastising their sisters, daughters, and wives. To sit there and say that Kavanaugh’s victims should have come forward years ago makes me sick because I know myself and so many of my friends still have not come forward. But that is exactly what they do, people take to social media to give their take on what happened to Dr. Ford and how they think she is lying.

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My freshman year one of my friends was telling me about a date she had gone on and it ended in rape. I pushed for her to report because I thought that was what you did when you were a victim. He was ex-military and working on getting his degree. She knew she would not have a chance and did not want to ruin his future. I tried to understand. I did not fully understand until two years ago when I was assaulted in my own bedroom. I chose not to report because I loved him and I did not want to ruin his future. Those are just two examples, but there are so, so many more out there.

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When we do not report we are saving ourselves from further questioning that would have tried to place the blame on us. I know that had I chose to report, I would have been blamed. After all, a back massage is asking for it. Women have been given the hardest role to play, we are thrown into the life of a victim, but we can never be the victim. Men can do as they please, but if it hurts us or is not something we were okay with, we have to protect them at all costs. After all, the future of a man is worth significantly more than a woman.

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It is a bittersweet realization that people would come to this country with the hope for a better life and to think about the joy and relief the immigrants would feel when they would glide past the Statue of Liberty. Yet, in 2018, America cannot seem to treat the living, breathing women of this country with even an ounce of as much respect as they treat Lady Liberty, a fake woman made out of copper. The symbol for hope in this country is a woman, but at the rate we’re going women are just about out of hope. However, we are not out of fight.