“So are you dating anyone?” One of the questions every college student dreads hearing when they come home for a long weekend. The word “dating” has become a limbo that does not really mean anything in our generation until you are actually moved in with your significant other.

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“Yeah I’m seeing someone, he’s nice.” Fatal mistake number one. Even bringing up there is a chance you are in a relationship.

“Oh, so when are you going to bring him home?” your mom will ask.

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“Oh my gosh, mommmm. No not yet we aren’t even that serious.”

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“Well you like him? You don’t see anyone else? So, you’re dating?” Your mom will pester you with these questions because let’s face it, she’s been out of the game for quite some time.

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“No, we’re talking mom.” Hm, okay, talking that is a good way to put it, not quite dating but still into each other. Makes sense.

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There has been a major swing in the scene of dating and there are many dynamics that factor into relationships we have today. Society has changed on many levels with platonic relationships between people of our generation. My mom explained, “It’s hard to define your generation’s relationships because it’s not as cookie cutter as it used to be when I was younger. Girls and guys weren’t really just friends.” In our generation it is totally normal to be really close with the opposite sex without having to be in a relationship, which is one of the main reasons for the this “talking” phase of a relationship - while actually dating someone has almost become obsolete. I think this is very damaging to not only people’s outlook on relationships but it’s also difficult to get feelings for your best friend.

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Scattered across the twittersphere we see tweets about girls who want to be taken out on dates and bought flowers. From another perspective, the Twitter user will see tweets about wanting to find a nice someone who they can “take home to mama.” For some reason we are reluctant to break the status quo of casual talking/dating. We don’t find anyone that lives up to our fantasies of having an “old fashioned” relationship that we desperately beg for behind the safety of our keyboards. And if we did find someone that lived up to our dream tweets, would we go out with them? Or are we too afraid to try something so new with our seemingly fragile feelings?

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The average young adult is afraid to actually take dating seriously with the millennial generation. We have built this stigma around love and actually having feelings that it is a painful thing when it is the only thing that really saves us from feeling those heartbreaking emotions. Often times love is confused with jealousy and loneliness. If you ask anyone that has been in love they will say it’s one of most beautiful things any other person can offer you. But if you ask someone that has yet to experience it, usually in young adulthood, he or she will say it’s painful and not worth the heartbreak.

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It is like we played ourselves. Having this ambiguity that has tainted the dating scene has not only confused our parents but also has confused us into thinking having affection is truly hurtful when in reality it is the only thing that saves us from that pain.