An “Empire State of Mind,” morphed into a delusional state of mind, at least that’s what I imagine my parents would think of my intentions after graduation in May.

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I would consider myself a proud senior, soon-to-be graduate with a plan to pursue a career in advertising. However, as a native Pittsburghian, with all family ties residing within close perimeters of my suburban home in Cranberry Township, along with the financial support of my parents that I have always been so grateful for throughout my college career, any lost graduate, like myself, would return to the nest of their parents and search for a career close to home... Right? Not exactly, but I have several reasons why that have been diluting my brain cells the closer I approach graduation day. I have been rehearsing these reasons in my head every day, creating a theoretical argument between me and my parents. Based on the pessimistic pest controlling the optimistic orchestra of thoughts being silenced in my head, I have been dissecting how the real conversation will go.

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I imagine my parents will ask me, “Why do you want to get an advertising job in New York City when you can get an advertising job in Pittsburgh?” I am not going to lie, this question is one I have asked myself on a loop. I can easily come home to a comfortable home after graduation, a privilege that I know a lot of graduates do not have, which I will get to later. I can still be provided with financial support while I search for a career that’s a forty-five minute drive south in a city I’m familiar with. And don’t get me wrong, I love Pittsburgh, but I know that if I find a career in downtown Pittsburgh, I will never leave. I will get too comfortable living at home in a suburban area where life is stagnant. I might get too comfortable that it takes me a few years to move out to an apartment in most likely downtown Pittsburgh.

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“Mom and dad, I want to live on my own and experience a new place,” I might say when I run out of reasonable things to say. But why do I have to explain myself? My parents raised me as an independent adult capable of making my own decisions, so why do I need approval from the people who conditioned me this way? Let’s be honest, for a career in advertising, I could most likely find a career in almost any major city. So, why not New York City?

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“Living there is expensive,” my mom and dad might argue next. Yes, it is definitely very expensive, unless you do your research. Even places on the outskirts of Manhattan can accompany a forty minute commute and affordable rent. This is where another pair of helping hands comes into play.

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My boyfriend, Anthony Ventura, a senior also graduating in May, wants to move to New York City for his career, too. We have been discussing this move for several months now and we both have supported each other with our passions and goals since the day we met. Although some of our original career plans faltered, we have discovered what our real passions entail and fortunately, both our careers are best suited in N.Y.C.

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While I want to advertise, Anthony wants to perform, and not just on any stage, but on a professional Broadway stage.

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“Getting onto Broadway is very difficult, I just can’t imagining this working out with expenses if he can’t get on Broadway,” my mom or dad might say. They are also right here, making it in New York as a Broadway performer is quite a dream. The difference between Anthony and any other “bruting artist,” is that he has raw, natural talent. I am an honest person. I am also talented to some degree in singing and performing. Therefore, I am aware when someone is not talented or doesn’t have enough talent to make it big.

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“Well, mom and dad, Anthony has professional music training and experience under his belt,” I would simply reply. “And yes, he probably won’t reach this goal the first few months we live there, but he plans to find a temporary job while going to auditions.” Anthony recent performed in, “Candide,” alongside the Erie Philharmonics and two Broadway equity actors who saw a great deal of potential in him. He already has connections with actors in New York City. That’s quite a advantage I think.

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And sure, money might be a problem at first. It’s a problem for anyone living on their own at first, no matter where they are. However, we have always supported one another with what they want to do and that’s not going to stop now. And who cares if I am the one making more money with a nine to five career for the first few months? I would say, that’s pretty accomplishing and progressive?

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“New York is dangerous,” they might add. Well, yes, but it really depends on where you are in New York. Again, I am not alone in this journey. I will have the safety support from Anthony. Plus, I’m not that much of an idiot. I wouldn’t be walking around by myself late at night in a bad part of New York. It might be overwhelming at first, but I would learn how to live there just like so many others have.

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Remember when I mentioned that I am fortunate to live at my parents house after graduation? Well Anthony isn’t so fortunate. His mom and step dad live in Florida and his sisters live in a one-person apartment in Pittsburgh or in a small house that isn’t quite meant for an extra body. His situation is a bit more stressful than mine, since he has to find a place to stay until we move to New York. There’s also some stress on me too, since I am the one pursuing a career that has more opportunities for hiring.

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“Plus mom and dad, I actually have been already looking at careers and already have connections,” I would add. I have been talking with a woman who is the Vice President of an advertising agency in New York. In addition, I have friends that live there who already work in the city. Perhaps the biggest influence of my decisions come from my oldest sister, Ashley, who moved to Manhattan when she was 21-years-old to attend graduate school at N.Y.U. She moved to Manhattan with her boyfriend after graduation and they lived there for six years. However, my parents didn’t approve of this at first and my sister had to just be an adult and make her own decision. She moved there, under the stress of my parents, and fell in love.

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So, you would think my parents would probably be less strict with my decision to move there? After all, I am the third child who has never given my parents much grief. I also have gotten away with a lot of things my middle sister got in trouble for, so what do I have to lose? That’s the other part of my brain that’s screaming at me.

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“Jacqueline, why are you stressing this much? Mom and dad might not even give you that hard of a time,” I repeat to myself. And maybe that’s true. I am just preparing myself for the worst because I know it is a big leap for me, but I’m ready to jump.

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And I am not going to lie, there are days where I’m so stressed that I privately conceal the anxiousness in my head and pretend I’m okay. I get stressed because I haven’t had any time to prepare a portfolio, redesign my resume, or even think about New York. But, I am prepared for a stressful journey. I know it’s not going to be easy. Maybe my parents will support my decision right away, or maybe it will take some time. Either way, this delusional graduate is moving to New York City.