Wednesday is the day that single people dread: Valentine’s Day. Stores have been stocked since the end of the holiday season with hearts and overpriced candy. TV commercials use this holiday as a ploy to get people to buy expensive jewelry and stuffed animals for their significant others. There are many problems with this holiday. It indulges in our culture’s habit of attempting to show love through money and things. It overemphasizes the importance of romantic relationships in people’s lives, which also understates the positive impact that non romantic relationships have in people’s lives. The “you are my everything” mentality is not the best way to stay happy and maintain positive relationships.

​

Contrary to how it may seem with the prevalence of Valentine’s Day advertising, a significant amount of the adult U.S. population is unmarried. According to the the U.S. Census Bureau, 53.2 percent of women and 46.8 percent of men were unmarried in 2016. Of this, 63.5 percent had never been married, 23.1 percent were divorced and 13.4 percent were widowed. People are now marrying at an older age, particularly because of how people live. Many people are going to school into their mid to late 20s and do not want to “settle down” until they have their education and career in order.

​

The New York Times recently published an article in their opinion section highlighting the negatives of being isolated within a relationship. Couples who have strong friendships and familiar relationships outside of their relationship have significantly better psychological health. While a romantic partner serves as a wonderful support, a single relationship cannot fill all of a person’s needs. This is where friends and family members come in.

​

The need to have friends and family, regardless of whether a person is single or in a relationship, is vastly understated. These relationships provide important support for individuals, especially since different friends or family may be better at fulfilling certain needs. Someone’s parents may be the perfect person to go to for advice and a good friend may be great to go out with on the weekend. Another friend might be the best cook and spending an evening in eating and talking is meaningful. There is not a commercialized holiday to celebrate this kind of love, but this does not make it any less important. People should remind their family and friends that they love them.

​

Regardless of whether a person is a romantic partner, a family member or a friend, it is important to not invest only in one person. This could even apply to a person who mostly spends time with their pet. This puts a lot of pressure on the person who is the sole object of attention, but it’s also not healthy. If something were to happen to that person or pet or to the relationship, there is no one else to fall back on. Having a network of friends, whether they live near or far away, is important to maintaining good psychological health.

​

People in a relationship who have mutual friends can benefit from going on double dates and spending time with other couples, rather than only having alone time. Of course one on one time is important, but spending time with people outside of the relationship is beneficial. The New York Times reported when their spouses have positive friendships, people feel better.

​

This also brings up the point of being lonely versus being alone. People in relationships can be lonely if their relationship is not fulfilling their needs, whether that be mentally, emotionally or physically. In contrast, there are plenty of single people who may be alone but not lonely because they have positive and open friendships and familiar relationships.

​

Even though showing appreciation for significant others is important and those relationships play an important role in people’s lives, it’s time to also take a moment to recognize friendships and family.